Courses this Semester: Low Intermediate English Communication 101 Low Intermediate English Communication 105 Low Intermediate English Communication 106 Low Intermediate English Communication 107 High Intermediate English Communication 109 TESOL Communication 1
Wednesday, March 25, 2015
If you didn't take the prints, here are some of the jokes I've used for starting class:
EXAM FAILURE Last
semester I took macroeconomics and didn't have a clue what I was
doing (as cited on the final exam). There were 80 multiple choice
questions. For some reason I decided to play the game of probability
and choose the letter "A" for everything. In that game, the
only thing probable was that I failed. The
following day, the professor asked to see me after class. "Is
everything okay?" "Sure," I said, "why? "Well,
here's your test," he said and handed me a piece of paper that
was covered with red ink. "Can you explain why you chose an 'A'
for everything?" Knowing
that there was nothing I could do at this point, I said, "Well,
I've always wanted to be an 'A' student." LITTLE
JOHNNY... DEFINITE DEFINITION The
preschool teacher says, "We're going to do vocabulary today. Who
can use the word 'definitely' in a sentence?" Mary raises
her hand and exclaims, "Me me me!"
The teacher says,
"Go ahead, what's the sentence?
Mary replies, "The sky
is definitely blue."
"That's good, Mary," says
the teacher, "but the sky can also be gray or white."
raises his hand and states, "Grass is definitely green."
teacher says, "That's good, Sam, but grass can be brown,
Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Do
farts have lumps in them?"
The teacher says, "No
Johnny, why do you ask that?"
Little Johnny replies, "Well,
I definitely shit my pants." HELISOFT A
helicopter was flying around above Seattle when an electrical
malfunction disabled all of the aircraft's electronic navigation and
Due to the clouds and
haze, the pilot could not determine the helicopter's position. The
pilot saw a tall building, flew toward it, circled, and held up a
handwritten sign that said "WHERE AM I?" in large letters.
People in the tall building quickly responded to the aircraft, drew a
large sign, and held it in a building window. Their sign said "YOU
ARE IN A HELICOPTER."
The pilot smiled, waved,
looked at his map, determined the course to steer to SEATAC airport,
and landed safely. After they were on the ground, the copilot asked
the pilot how he had done it.
"I knew it had to
be the Microsoft Building, because they gave me a technically correct
but completely useless answer."